


Rose Quartz

by LisaVanDerMolen



Series: It's A Good Life [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Description, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Sad with a Happy Ending, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23390824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaVanDerMolen/pseuds/LisaVanDerMolen
Summary: Life has a funny way of ruining everything in the blink of an eye. Kenma and Akaashi had experience with life's cruel side, but this was something they had never expected would have happened. A part of Kenma died and for the first time in his life Akaashi was overcome with emotions to the point of cursing out every god and deity above. It wasn't fair, days spent wondering of what sin they had committed to be condemned to such sadness.On the twenty second of March the omegas experienced a pain that would change their lives forever. An experience that was kept secret from their alphas.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou & Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: It's A Good Life [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615756
Comments: 17
Kudos: 253





	Rose Quartz

**Author's Note:**

> So this has some explicit content and is kind of sad plus it's unedited...like not sexual explicit more like blood...

Life has a funny way of ruining everything in the blink of an eye. Kenma and Akaashi had experience with life's cruel side, but this was something they had never expected would have happened. A part of Kenma died and for the first time in his life Akaashi was overcome with emotions to the point of cursing out every god and deity above. It wasn't fair, days spent wondering of what sin they had committed to be condemned to such sadness. 

On the twenty second of March the omegas experienced a pain that would change their lives forever. An experience that was kept secret from their alphas in an effort to heal.

* * *

**March 20th, two days before disaster**

"You forgot your jersey shorts," Kenma mumbled eyes never straying from his PSP. 

"I thought I packed them last night."

"No you didn't pack the official jersey's shorts."

"Shit," Kuroo hurriedly went to the closet, searching for his official jersey's shorts. He crouched down looking through the stacks of clothing.

"They're under your pink polka dot shorts."

"Ha!" Kuroo yelled carefully, taking them out of the pile,"what would I do without you Kitten?" 

"Die." 

"Obviously," Kuroo looked at Kenma, the love evident in his eyes, he put his shorts in his sports bag. Before turning around and climbing onto the bed. Caging Kenma in, he plucked the PSP out of Kenma's hands much to his omega's dismay, saving the game placing the device on the nightstand. Kenma looked at him, eyebrow raised unimpressed with his alpha’s behaviour, breath silently hitching when Kuroo nuzzled his scent glands. "I'm gonna miss you," the alpha whispered. 

"It's not that long Tetsu, only for two weeks." 

"I know. I'm just worried about you, lately you haven't been feeling that well," Kuroo gently pushed a strand of Kenma's hair behind the omega's ear. 

"We have survived being far longer apart, plus Keiji is here so it isn't like I'm alone." 

"I know that, but that doesn't mean I have to like leaving you behind while you're coming down with something." 

The alpha pressed soft kisses to the omega's face. "Tetsu I'm okay, stop worrying about me." 

"I could never stop worrying about you," Kuroo confessed, Kenma averted his eyes overwhelmed with the unconditional love radiating from his mate. Kuroo softly nudged Kenma to look up before claiming his lips. Their lips pressed against each other. Kuroo swiped his tongue against Kenma's lower lip, silently asking for the omega's permission. Kenma opened his mouth, Kuroo's tongue entered, moving in sync with Kenma's. The two were lost in the sensation of kissing each other before having to part for air. 

"I'm gonna miss you too," Kenma whispered, hand going through Kuroo's soft hair. 

The pair was in their own peaceful bubble when they heard a crashing sound coming from the living room, followed with a loud yell for Keiji. 

"Keiji! Oh my god!" The sound of somebody jumping up and down could be heard. 

Kuroo laughed while the corners of Kenma's mouth slightly lifted up,"looks like Ko stubbed his toe again, right kitten?" Kenma merely nodded, Kuroo lifted himself up. He walked towards the door but not before leaning down and pressing a kiss to Kenma's forehead. "I'm just gonna make sure the idiot didn't hurt himself too bad." 

Kenma knew for a fact that Koutarou hadn't hurt himself too much, after living with the guy for almost four years now it was easy to distinguish the difference between cries. He was certain the alpha would forget about his injury in the next ten minutes. 

The omega laid on the bed watching the ceiling hand resting on his belly. He would tell the alpha the news once he returned from the trip.

* * *

**March 21st, one day before disaster**

Kenma woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. He sat up stretching his limbs, blearily he rubbed his eyes. Looking around for his phone, he saw it plugged in on the nightstand. Yawning loudly he reached for it, grabbing it from the nightstand, he looked at time unsurprised to see that it was already two o'clock in the afternoon. The alphas left at five in the morning after their schedules got messed up because all their flights got delayed by seven hours subsequently keeping the omegas awake with them, as they figured out what to do. Since the tournament wouldn't start until the twenty-second the coach had decided that there was no need for the alphas to get new flights as they would have enough time to get to their destination and sleep off any tiredness they might feel. 

He wanted to lie back down and sleep a bit longer, but his grumbling belly wouldn't let him. He fought the heaviness of his eyelids "Okay baby," he murmured softly, resting a hand on top of it. 

He got out of bed and padded over to the bathroom. Kenma got as ready for the day as he could before facing Akaashi, who sat expectantly on the couch with a book in his hands. 

"I made those fluffy omelettes you like," Akaashi tilted his head towards the kitchen's counter. 

Kenma smiled grabbing the plate, the other omega must have heated it up when he was in the washroom. "Thank you," he said, plopping down next to the other man.

Akaashi dismissively waved his hand,"don't worry about it," he put his book down resting his chin on his hands. Blue eyes studying his friend intensely. 

"What?" Kenma mumbled having known Keiji for way too long to feel self conscious in front of him

"Just wondering."

"What?" 

"I can wait. Don't want you to lose your appetite now. Do we?" Akaashi smirked at the dirty glare Kenma shot him. 

"You're unbearable," Kenma angrily put another piece of the omelette in his mouth. "Any messages yet?" 

"No, I'm sure they're resting now. Koutarou didn't sleep at all this morning." Akaashi's eyes took Kenma in noticing the dark bags underneath the other omega's eyes. "I guess Tetsurou didn't sleep either." 

Kenma put the final piece of omelette in his mouth savouring the taste,"you know how he gets, he's been worrying about everything lately." 

"They both have been," Akaashi replied softly,"just one more year Kenma."

"Yeah just one more year," it was a bittersweet moment for the omegas both deep in thought about the future, and how fast time was slipping them by lately.

Akaashi fiddled with his engagement ring, twisting and turning it,"did you tell Tetsurou the news yet?" 

Kenma bit his lower lip,"I miss the days when things weren't any of your business."

"Kenma--"

"I'm going to do it when he comes back."

Akaashi smiled a genuine smile seeing the hand his friend has protectively rested on top of his belly. "How are you going to do it?"

"Well it just depends on the doctor's appointment that's tomorrow and I’ll go from there," Kenma fiddled with his own engagement ring, an annoying habit he had picked up from Keiji.

"I can't believe it's been a month since we found out, you're almost two months along."

"Yeah." ****

* * *

**One month earlier**

"Keiji there's no way," Kenma protested looking at the stick in the other omega's hands. 

Akaashi raised his eyebrow unimpressed,"there is totally a way."

"No way," Kenma vehemently shook his head.

"You have literally nothing to lose," Akaashi pushed the stick towards Kenma,"just pee on it and see what happens."

Kenma flared his nostrils loudly exhaling, snatching the stick out of Akaashi's hands,"I'm pretty sure I would know if I was pregnant or not." 

"Well clearly you don't since you are."

Kenma simply ignored him in favor of going to the washroom and getting this over with. He sat down on the toilet and peed on top of the stick. Setting it aside he told Akaashi to start the timer before getting up and pulling his pants up. He washed his hands for longer than necessary letting the cold water cool him down. There was no way he was pregnant, sure he had been feeling unwell lately, just a bit of nausea and breasts felt like they were getting bigger and more tender but that was it. There was no reason to suspect being pregnant. Akaashi's timer rang outside of the door. Kenma opened the door and Akaashi looked at him expectantly. Kenma just rolled his eyes and grabbed the stick. 

"See Keiji I am no--," Kenma's eyes widened looking down at the result, a plus sign glaring back at him. "I'm pregnant," he whispered softly overcome with emotion. "I'm pregnant," Kenma felt the tears run down his cheeks as Keiji hugged him, but it all seemed so far away. He was going to have a baby. A baby. 

* * *

**March 21st, one day before disaster**

The omegas sat huddled under a soft fluffy blanket. They were both going through different lists. Scrolling through the different posts on pinterest. If you had told Kenma in high school that he would be going through wedding planning pins on pinterest with Akaashi Keiji he would have ignored you and continued playing on his PSP, but that was his reality now, not that he was complaining. Kenma always knew that he and Keiji would end up as friends, but they were more than friends, they were packmates, a family. It left Kenma feeling warm on the inside thinking of all the love he was surrounded with. 

“Since Ko and you are getting married in spring, we could do something like flower petals on the ground leading up to the altar,” Kenma opened the notes app in his phone, clicking on the wedding planning folder. He typed in a reminder to look at what different flowers represented and the rough cost for the flower petals. He smiled at the fact that both weddings were still a year away and the couples were already stressing out about everything.

“Kenma!” Akaashi gasped blue eyes widening looking at whatever post on pinterest. Kenma looked at him wondering what had gotten the other man so excited. “You have to get a veil like that,” Akaashi pointed at the image of the veil. 

Kenma looked at the image, his eyes widened as he pictured himself in it. The veil was long and white, leading to the bottom of the veil and on the sides it had intricate patterns embroidered in red. The red didn’t overtake the veil and it’s simplicity drew Kenma in. He nodded,“yeah, it looks good.” 

Akaashi smiled, clicking on the link for the website, biting his bottom lip as he looked through all the different veils. 

“Keiji you should get one where the sides are embroidered in black.”

“Like this one?” Kenma nodded, both men shared a smile. Who would have thought that two of the most stoic people in high school were on cloud nine thinking about their futures.

* * *

**March 22nd morning before the disaster**

The alarm blared in the room waking up both omegas. “Ughh turn it off,” Kenma mumbled, turning onto his back trying to fall back to sleep.

“Tt tt,” Akaashi tutted, reaching over Kenma for the shorter male’s phone,“why do you still have this cursed alarm, it’s been like forever.”

“It’s the only one that actually wakes me up, you know this,” Kenma groaned, hands covering his eyes in a futile attempt to block the light that was streaming into the room. 

“Today’s the day we’re gonna officially hear the baby’s heartbeat, aren’t you excited?” Akaashi asked getting out of bed pulling the curtains further apart to let more light stream into the room. 

“Obviously but that doesn’t mean I want to wake up this early,” the shorter man could feel the disapproving glare from his fellow omega,“the baby agrees with me for your information.”

“Do they now?” 

“Yes.”

“How would you know?” 

“I’m their mother, off course I know.”

“It is moments like these I remember why you and Tetsurou are made for each other.”

“And why’s that?” Kenma asked a cheeky smile playing on his lips. 

Akaashi stared unimpressed with the behaviour of the other man,“you’re both cheeky bastards.” 

“Tt Keiji. It is way too early to curse don’t you think so?” A pillow was rudely thrown into Kenma’s face. 

The two men got ready for the day and before they knew it, it was time to leave the comforts of their apartment. They walked quietly to the omega clinic both caught up in their own heads. Kenma wondered how he would announce the news to Kuroo while Akaashi thought about his future with Bokuto and when they might have some pups. 

The two omegas took the elevator to the bottom floor. The omegas waited in silence as the beta at the frontdesk told them to take a seat. Akaashi had started to play with his engagement ring twisting it while Kenma was biting his bottom lip. The silence was broken by Kenma who took out his phone and opened the message his alpha had sent him. He nudged Akaashi’s side with his elbow, telling the other man to look at the phone.

Akaashi exhaled through his nose smiling as he looked at the picture that Kuroo had sent. Bokuto and Kuroo were posing in front of the volleyball net, two big smiles on their faces arms throw around a disgruntled Tsukishima who had a volleyball in his hand and looked five seconds away from committing murder. ‘Ko and I met our idol the Tsukishima Kei today, big fans,’ Kuroo had written underneath the picture. “Poor Tsukishima.”

“He must regret every decision he has ever made.”

“You should have seen them during that one training camp when _you_ refused to help those two idiots.”

Kenma raised his eyebrow,“for your information Keiji I was saving lives.”

“You didn’t even save the cat’s life, Lev did,” Akaashi muttered remembering how Kuroo had dropped everything when Kenma walked into the gym with a bloody nose, scraped elbows and hands. “We thought you guys had gotten into a fight.”

Kenma snorted,“as if, but Tetsu was really angry that day.”

Before Akaashi could remind Kenma how poor Lev had taken Kuroo’s anger, the smaller man’s name was called. “Kozume Kenma?” a tall man wearing green scrubs called. 

Kenma stood up Akaashi following suit,“hello I am doctor Saito.”

“Kozume Kenma.”

“Akaashi Keiji.”

The doctor shook the omegas hands before leading them to the small room. He sat behind his computer and pulled up the information in regards to Kenma. He hummed to himself,“so here it says you are almost two months along six and a half weeks to be exact, is that correct?”

Kenma nodded,“yes.”

“Okay,” he mumbled to himself typing something into the computer,“usually family doctors wait before booking ultrasounds so that you can see the fetus clearer, is there a particular reason your doctor recommended you a bit earlier?” 

“My doctor was worried because when I was younger I was severely anemic, so she just wanted to make sure that everything is okay.”

The doctor nodded,“alright are you ready to hear your baby?” 

Kenma's eyes widened, he hesitantly nodded while Akaashi patted his back. Kenma got up and felt everything blurring around him. He would hear his baby’s heartbeat, he didn’t feel anything the doctor did besides the rushing of his blood. Kenma felt his breath leave his body when he heard the first _thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

His cheeks were wet as he opened his eyes to look at Akaashi who was also crying. The blue eyed man covered his mouth with one hand while grabbing Kenma’s with the other. The two looked at each other's eyes smiling. The moment was bigger than any words would ever be able to describe. 

Everything afterwards was pretty much a daze for both of them. They stepped into the quiet apartement soft smiles grazing their faces,“thank you for sharing that moment with me,” Akaashi muttered.

Kenma rolled his eyes, bumping into Akaashi,“duhh, you are going to be godmother after all.”

“Wait what,” blue eyes widened as Akaashi looked at the shorter man.

Kenma tucked his hair behind his ear,“only if you guys want it though, I know Tetsu and even though we never really talked about children in depth I know he would want you guys to be the godparents, if anything were to happen to us.”

Akaashi inhaled sharply nodding his head, tears filling his eyes,“oh my god off course Koutarou would do it.” 

The two men hugged tears falling down their eyes. The moment was sweet and was broken by the buzzing of Akaashi’s phone. The man dried his tears with his shirt’s sleeve,“it’s Koutaro,” he said shakily. 

Kenma nodded,“Tetsu will call me any minute now.” Both omegas shared smiles before heading towards their own bedrooms. Kenma closed the door behind him and pulled out his phone. His timing was right as his alpha’s number flashed across the screen, the omega picked it up. 

“Hi kitten,” Kuroo said, sounding out of breath.

“Hi Tetsu,” Kenma replied softly trying to keep his own breathing in check so the other man wouldn’t know he had been crying. 

Rustling could be heard from the other end,“Kenma, what’s wrong?” 

Kenma rolled his eyes, off course nothing would slip through his alpha,“nothing.”

“You sound like you’re crying,” the other man spoke. 

“I,” Kenma swallowed,“I just miss you,” he confessed softly, it wasn’t a lie even though the other man had only been gone a day, Kenma missed him and wanted him here to brainstorm baby names with.

“I miss you too babe, just hold on I’ll be back before you can say videogame.”

Kenma smiled,“videogame,” he whispered.

“Not fair,” Kuroo said laughing before the man could say anything else there was shouting. Kuroo groaned,“gotta go Kenma, coach wants us to start warmups.”

Kenma nodded and then facepalmed realizing his alpha couldn’t see him,“okay, bye Tetsu.”

“Bye Kenma.”

A few seconds were spent listening to each other’s breathing before Kenma hung up knowing the alpha didn’t have the heart to. The omega laid down on their bed, sending Akaashi a message that he would be taking a nap. He didn’t wait for a reply as his eyelids became heavy and the world faded away into darkness. Kenma was woken up a couple of hours later feeling uncomfortable in his lower abdomen. He got up and made his way towards the bathroom, hearing Akaashi in the kitchen cutting something, probably vegetables. Kenma hurried towards the bathroom.

* * *

**March 22nd time of the disaster**

Intense. Intense, is the word Kenma would use to describe the pain. It built up slowly at first in his lower back and then erupted into his lower abdomen. Kenma inhaled sharply the pain too much to deal with as he fell down onto the bathroom’s floor. He thought he had to puke and this was all a sign of another nausea wave but he was wrong. 

It hurt the pain unbearable, he felt as if he was being sliced open from the inside out. The cramping intense, his stomach folded into itself. He felt liquid slide down his legs and wondered if he had somehow managed to wet himself. He touched the liquid running down his legs, it was thick and sticky. A horrible feeling clawed its way from the depths of Kenma’s soul, the omega brought his hand to his face. His hand covered in red greeted him, smiling at his misery. 

His entire body shook, hands frantically pawing at his shorts trying to slide them off. His hands kept on sliding off the fabric. His shorts became heavier, the blood didn’t stop rushing out of him. Steadily dripping on the mat, the sound covered by the fluffy dark blue mat. The mat absorbed the blood leaving behind the gunk on top of the mat. 

Kenma screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks. He sobbed trying to stop the inevitable. Praying to the gods above not to take away the little life in him. Praying that he would do better if his child survived the night. It was no use the blood kept on coming, the tears kept on falling. Kenma’s hands were covered, absolutely soaked in blood.

“Kenma?!” he heard frantic pounding on the door,“what’s wrong? Open the door!”

Kenma shook his head whimpering for his alpha. 

“Kenma please please open the door!” Akaashi begged. “I wanna help please let me help!” 

Kenma shakily got onto his knees and crawled to the door, turning the lock. He let his hand drag down the door covering it in blood. Akaashi swung the door open, blue eyes widening behind his glasses as he took in the state of the bathroom and Kenma. 

“Oh my god Kenma,” Akaashi crouched down looking at his fellow omega. He got his phone out of his pocket and dialed the emergency services. 

Everything was a blur for Kenma; he could feel the dried blood on his hands. It was tiring trying to stay awake. He woke up in a hospital, feeling a warm hand in his cold one. A doctor had come into the room and explained how Kenma had miscarried and subsequently lost the baby. Kenma didn’t understand most of the words that came out of the doctor’s mouth except for the fact that he lost his child and couldn’t try for another one until his heat came. Akaashi had rubbed circles into the back of his hand throughout the conversation. 

When the doctor had left, Akaashi red puffy eyes looked at Kenma,“should I call Tetsurou?” he asked. A lot of things were happening at once and the omega felt guilty for not taking the liberty to call up Kuroo and tell him what had happened to Kenma. He however had to act quickly and had gone crazy waiting for the doctor’s to tell him what happened.

Kenma shook his head,“no,” he muttered before Akaashi could protest or tell the omega to consider calling his alpha the smaller man turned away. Hand resting over his stomach,“I lost my baby,” he whispered brokenly,“I lost my baby, I need time.” Sobbing into Akaashi’s shoulder. Even though the doctor’s said nobody was at fault Kenma knew that he was at fault.

Akaashi nodded, tears falling from his eyes, he could give Kenma time. The omegas both kept a huge secret from their alphas that night. The bond between them had become stronger than ever. When the alphas had returned nothing had been spoken of the night. But both alphas noticed how both omegas had become withdrawn. Kenma stopped playing on his PSP while Akaashi spent more time huddled around Kenma. A strong heartbeat haunting them both.

* * *

**Almost two months since disaster- avoidance**

Kenma had been feeling numb lately, after everything had happened he hadn’t broken down again. It felt like the days ended faster and Kenma was playing a game of catchup. By the time he had come remotely close to time it would slip through his fingers again. He had no clue of what was happening, he knew that Tetsurou held him closer and tighter at night, showering him with love. He knew that Keiji had gotten rid of the mat in the bathroom along with the shower curtain, anything really that could remind him of what had happened. The man had changed everything in the bathroom for Kenma. Kenma knew that Ko was worried about him checking in on him every day at various intervals bringing different sweets with him. Kenma knew he was loved, yet it didn’t matter he felt betrayed by his own body, afraid of what his mate would think, and hurt. Kenma was in so much pain he was simply numb to it all now. The only thing clear in his mind was his child’s heartbeat, the steady rhythm haunting him, he wondered if Keiji felt the same, hearing something that was gone, never to be returned. Never. 

“Hey, Kenma,” Bokuto softly stood behind Kenma who was staring intensely at bathroom’s door. “I’m going to order some food, what do you want?” 

The omega shook his head, eyes never leaving the bathroom’s door, flashes of blood covered hands replayed in his mind. He remembered touching the door’s handle, he doesn’t know if he washed his hands before touching it, or if it was another place blood was spilled. 

“Kenma you have to eat something, anything and I’ll order it. Hell I’ll even attempt to make it myself,” the alpha looked at Kenma who shook his head again, head tilting to the side studying the door. “Fine,” he grumbled underneath his breath walking to his own room to grab his phone and place the order at Kenma’s favorite takeout place. He ordered everybody’s go to order before making his way back to the living room. He was met with Kenma still standing in the hallway. Bokuto walked up to him again and softly placed his hand on the omega’s shoulder guiding him to the couch. 

Kenma’s eyes watered, he didn’t want to cry but his body had other plans. He had avoided everybody, himself, Tetsurou, Keiji and Koutarou. It felt like forever when he had last reached out to somebody that cared for him.

"Kenma?" Bokuto asked worriedly, eyebrows furrowed looking at the omega. Kenma whined a mere whisper that caught Bokuto's attention before the dam broke, the emotions he had kept locked up all came rushing out. "Kenma, _shit_ ," Bokuto whispered underneath his breath, he placed both of his hands firmly on Kenma's shoulders making the omega look up to him. "Can I hug you?" 

Kenma closed his eyes hoping for the tears to stop. They didn't stop running down his cheeks, so he just nodded his head pathetically, leaning into the alpha's warmth. Bokuto held him, soft enough to not suffocate Kenma yet tight enough to let the omega know that he had somebody caring about him. 

Kenma sobbed loudly gripping the alpha's shirt, he cried and let all his emotions out. He wanted his own alpha, he wanted Tetsurou holding him whispering sweet nothing. At the same time he couldn't imagine facing his alpha and telling him about his failure. Kenma wanted an out from the thoughts from the fading echo of a heartbeat in his ears. He just wanted an out. He wanted an out. 

Kenma doesn’t know how much time had passed and when they had sat down on the couch. He doesn’t know when his tears stopped, he doesn’t know when the fluffy blanket was swung over his shoulders. He doesn’t know what his friend is saying. And he doesn’t know where his body went wrong. If he tries hard enough he can remember the night spent in the hospital. He can feel the warm hand in his cold one, the soft murmurings how everything would be okay. Everything is blur but he can feel the lingering excitement, the dreams he had for his child. The secret planning he started to do, looking at the plans for his future house, figuring out what extra room would be the best for a nursery. 

Kenma felt tired, simply exhausted. He knew his appearance worried everybody, the dark bags underneath his eyes giving away his sleepless nights. His paler than usual skin showcasing how he hadn’t left the house in days. He somehow managed to keep his hair from becoming greasy in hopes of them not worrying more but it didn’t work. 

Bokuto was rubbing his back pushing a glass of water towards him, the gesture took Kenma back to the first time he had broken down in front of the alpha. He vaguely remembers being surprised at how well the alpha had taken care of him. These days he didn’t bat an eye when Bokuto showed off his perceptive side. “Drink.”

Kenma wanted to object but the alpha left no room for arguments. He drank the water swallowing the cold liquid. It soothed his aching throat, a paper was held to his nose once he put down his glass of water,“blow.”

The two sat in silence on the couch waiting for the food to arrive. Kenma leaned back against Bokuto’s chest. “You know one time Keiji became as withdrawn as you,” Bokuto started his voice a mere whisper, an echo of his usual loud booming personality. Kenma tilted his head, wondering when. As if he read Kenma’s mind the alpha answered,“during my last year in high school, you guys were close but not as close as you are right now.” 

Kenma remembered high school, he remembered how he and Keiji had become friends during their first training camp. The days when he was always on his PSP, unapproachable not wanting to interact with others but desperate for their approval. He had come a long way, these days he didn’t care much about the opinions of others, and didn’t mind conversations with others as much as he used to. Kenma was still an introvert and needed some peace and quiet at the end of the day but he didn’t spend his time wallowing in loneliness trying to escape reality. He still had issues but they didn’t eat him up anymore.

Bokuto’s gaze seemed far away, Kenma knew how Keiji would describe the alpha as a star that was sometimes unreachable, and for the first time ever Kenma understood what the other omega meant. Even though the alpha was sitting right next to him he wasn’t with him, Kenma couldn’t describe the feeling, he feared that if it weren’t for the solid chest pressed against his back he wouldn’t have known the alpha was real. 

Bokuto sighed,“Keiji was afraid, he has always been insecure but it had gotten really bad near the end of my senior year. He wasn’t with me anymore--if that makes sense,” he ran his hand through his hair. “Keiji worried about a lot of things, he worried about how we would make it work and how he would adjust to having so many of his friends move away. But the thing that ate him up from the inside was that he had let _me_ down. Can you believe that Kenma, with everything going on he was worried that he let me down,” the alpha sat in silence as Kenma processed the information. 

“How?” Kenma asked, speaking up for the first time in what felt like forever. 

“How what?”

“How did he feel he had let you down?” the how’d you know was left unsaid. 

“He felt he had let me down by letting us get mated, taking away any chances I could have had at the normal university life. He thought that somehow by us being mated I wouldn’t enjoy living in the dorms, or the parties, that I would miss being single,” Bokuto exhaled sharply, pinching his nose bridge. “He tried to hide it but I knew,” golden eyes looked into Kenma’s own,“you think that Rou doesn’t notice _you_ feeling like you let _him_ down, but he does. He can see how it is eating you from the inside out, chipping away at you as everyday passes.” Kenma bit his lip, eyes downcasted unable to meet the alpha’s,“unlike popular assumptions we alphas know the language our omegas speak. We mastered reading them and dedicated our lives to knowing to find out more. So he does know Kenma, he does and everyday that passes without you telling him is another day that passes where he questions himself. Another day where he questions if he has mastered your language as well as he wants to or if he has just stolen you away from something better. Because trust me Kenma when your omega is wilting away in front of your eyes because they think they let _you_ down it hurts. It fucking hurts, so do me a favor and let him in.”

Kenma felt the pressure that had been building up inside his chest loosening up,“thank you Ko.”

“S’okay,” the alpha tightened his grip on the omega’s waist, the two sitting in silence reflecting on the words just spoken. 

* * *

**Two months since disaster- healing**

“Tetsu,” Kenma whispered into the quiet room. A brief glance at his phone told him that it was three am. 

He felt his alpha stir,“what’s up kitten?” Kuroo asked softly. These days the alpha slept lighter afraid that Kenma might drop in the middle of the night. 

“I need to tell you something,” Kenma sat up breaking free from Kuroo’s grip. 

The alpha sat up as well reaching out for his omega. Kenma grabbed Kuroo’s hands, putting them in his lap. “What about?” 

Kenma exhaled loudly, hands shaking, the alpha tightened his grip on them,“I need to tell you why I am so--like this,” before Kuroo could interject, the omega continued knowing his alpha wouldn’t stand for his self depreciation. “I need _you_ to _listen_ and I need to do this like this in the dark because--,” I don’t think I could survive the look on your face was left unsaid open for the alpha’s interpretation. 

"Okay kitten," Kuroo rubbed soothing circles on the back of his omega's hands. 

"Before the tournament I had wanted to tell you something but the timing just wasn't right," Kenma closed his eyes, he felt nauseous, afraid of what the other man would say. 

"Tetsurou I need you to to hear me out even when I start crying okay, don't be alarmed…," Kenma trailed off. 

The alpha continued rubbing circles on the omega's hands,"okay." 

"I wanted to tell you that I was-- I was," Kenma's voice broke, he exhaled through his nose his voice, a mere whisper in the room like a confession whispered to the god’s and deity’s above to decide who was guilty and who wasn’t. "I was pregnant." 

Kuroo inhaled sharply, Kenma could feel the emotions flow through their mating bond. He felt shock, happiness, and confusion. "Was Kenma?" The older man stopped rubbing soothing circles onto the younger man's hands. 

"I lost our baby, Tetsu," Kenma's voice was so quiet he wouldn’t be surprised if his alpha didn’t hear the confession. The damage however was done and Kenma could feel the ledge he had been holding onto break. " _I_ lost our pup," he sobbed, removing his hands from his fiance’s hands before covering his face, the reality of the situation finally settling in. 

Kuroo was silently processing everything in the back of his mind, hearing his omega's sobs. Three words that were just as precious as the first time the couple confessed their love to each other. And yet these three words didn’t taste sweet at all. The room was moving too fast yet not fast enough, he saw Kenma only he didn’t see his omega. He saw what had been eating his omega up alive. He saw what could have been. 

“I’m so sorry,” Kenma whimpered out from behind his hands, his hair covering his face. 

Kuroo felt his heartbeat accelerate. He reached out for his omega and pulled the younger man towards him. Kuroo nuzzled Kenma’s bond mark pressing soft kisses along it. “It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered,“it wasn’t your fault.”

“Tetsu,” Kenma shook his head,“I los--”

Kuroo grabbed Kenma’s face making the omega look at him, golden eyes met hazel ones, a tranquility showered the pair. The bondmark pulsing with love and adoration,“I love you and it wasn’t your fault. What happened, happened and I am so proud of you,” Kuroo whispered softly, Kenma looked up at him confused. “You didn’t give up Kenma, you are here with me today. And thank you for telling me.”

“You’re not angry?” Kenma asked.

“No,” Kuroo shook his head,“never, it wasn’t your fault.” The alpha showered his omega with love and adoration holding him tight and providing a safety blanket to him until the younger man whispered the words right back to him. 

“It wasn’t my fault.” 

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah that was kind of intense, I wanted some angst and really missed writing it. I honestly love this series and the way I get to explore the relationships between characters. I'm still debating whether or not I want to add another chapter showing the aftermaths a bit more or just leave it be. I have a few more fic ideas in mind but it will all depend on how much free time I have, online classes are killing me :(( I wrote this and a Kagehina fic (which is literally so sweet so I had to balance it out ;)) in one day while I was supposed to write a 16 page essay fml :/// yeah leave me a kudo and a comment, comments are so appreciated like I am so thankful every time somebody comments like thank you all and please keep them coming :)))
> 
> *Rose Quartz is a crystal is also known as the ‘love crystal’. This stone is commonly used for attracting and keeping love, as well as protecting relationships. It can also help to heal your heart from disappointment and pain. The Rose Quartz Crystal can be especially great for people with the following zodiac signs: Libra and Taurus  
> **guess whose a Libra?? It's ma boii Kenma!!!!  
> ***I did not know this before I wrote this story.


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